Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
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i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
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I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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