I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
This is classic penis vs brain.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
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