Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
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