Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
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