I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
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