She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
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Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
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I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
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