Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Randomize