im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
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