so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Randomize