Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
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