is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
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