Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
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