it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
So here I am, sexting at work.
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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