sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
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