Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
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