My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
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I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
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im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
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