I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
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