you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize