there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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