Pants 0. Shit 1.
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
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