peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
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