when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Randomize