my shit smells like andre
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
Randomize