you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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