how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
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