Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize