I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
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I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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