I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
I look better un-naked...
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
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