never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
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