His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize