The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
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