How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
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