No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
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