The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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