She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
I think im going to throw up on grandma
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
Randomize