So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
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