i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
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Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
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