Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
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