His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
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