She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
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