And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
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