He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize