im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
don't judge my taste in strippers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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