hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
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