hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
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