K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
This is awkward. You have a four minute voicemail from me. I would delete it. I accidently hit your number on speed dial and called you while I was vomiting a mai tai.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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