Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
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I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
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You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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