i wish my penis had a tongue
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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