I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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