you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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